A Gender Ideology True Believer Mugged by Reality

When my first son claimed he was trans, I eagerly ‘affirmed’ him. When his three-year-old brother decided he wanted to be trans, too, I realized I’d made a terrible mistake.

Today Quillette published an article written by a lesbian about her two sons and the huge mistake she and her partner made in raising their boys.

I was a social-justice organizer and facilitator before social justice took over the progressive world. I was at the nascent movement’s forefront, introducing the concept of intersectionality to organizations and asking people to share their pronouns. 

My friends and I felt like we were the cool kids, on the vanguard of the revolutionary wave that would change the world. We were going to achieve what people in that milieu call “collective liberation.” 

Within this context, I came out as a lesbian and identified as queer. I also fell in love, entered a committed relationship, and gave birth to a son. Two years later, my spouse gave birth to our second son.

The author, once a fervent supporter of social justice and gender ideology, shares a deeply personal account of their journey with their two sons. You’ll want to read the whole thing. But here is a summary:

When their first son expressed a desire to be a girl, the author, influenced by their beliefs, affirmed and socially transitioned him. However, when their younger son, influenced by his older brother, also claimed to be a girl, the parents began to question their decisions.

The author’s exploration into attachment-based developmental parenting and understanding of autism led them to realize that neither of their sons were transgender. Their older son, likely autistic and hypersensitive, had adopted a female identity as a form of psychic protection and attachment.

The family eventually reversed the social transition, and both sons are now thriving as boys. This former “true believer” likens their experience to escaping a cult, expressing concern for the future of sensitive boys in a world that might misguide them.


Companion Posts


Intersectionality & The Age of Outrage

If you’ve ever wondered about the ‘seed-bed’ of today’s cancel culture, with its intolerant ideologies (e.g., gender ideology), Jonathan Haidt has some insight….

The article, titled “The Age of Outrage,” written by Jonathan Haidt, explores the current socio-political climate in the United States, particularly focusing on the heightened polarization and “outrage” permeating the country and its universities. Haidt employs the concept of “the fine-tuned universe” from cosmology to draw a parallel with the delicate balance required to maintain a stable, liberal democracy, particularly in a diverse and secular society. He suggests that certain “settings” or conditions must be finely adjusted to facilitate stable political life, a concept he extends to label as “the fine-tuned liberal democracy.”

In thinking about the evolution of human beings, he emphasizes our tribal nature and inclination towards group living and intergroup conflict. He suggests that while we can live in large, multi-ethnic secular liberal democracies, it requires a careful balance to maintain stability. Haidt also explores the concept of intersectionality in modern identity politics, critiquing it for its tendency to categorize and create an “us vs. them” mentality, which he views as antithetical to the unity and common purpose needed in a liberal democracy. He contrasts this with the identity politics of the civil rights era, which he perceives as having been more integrative and unifying.

Haidt identifies several factors that have contributed to the current state of polarization, including the absence of common enemies, changes in media consumption, increased diversity and immigration, and shifts in political and academic climates. He particularly criticizes the new identity politics and intersectionality taught in universities, arguing that it fosters a divisive and combative environment that is contrary to the foundational principles of the United States.

Feel free to explore the article directly for a deeper understanding: The Age of Outrage.