A Gender Ideology True Believer Mugged by Reality

When my first son claimed he was trans, I eagerly ‘affirmed’ him. When his three-year-old brother decided he wanted to be trans, too, I realized I’d made a terrible mistake.

Today Quillette published an article written by a lesbian about her two sons and the huge mistake she and her partner made in raising their boys.

I was a social-justice organizer and facilitator before social justice took over the progressive world. I was at the nascent movement’s forefront, introducing the concept of intersectionality to organizations and asking people to share their pronouns. 

My friends and I felt like we were the cool kids, on the vanguard of the revolutionary wave that would change the world. We were going to achieve what people in that milieu call “collective liberation.” 

Within this context, I came out as a lesbian and identified as queer. I also fell in love, entered a committed relationship, and gave birth to a son. Two years later, my spouse gave birth to our second son.

The author, once a fervent supporter of social justice and gender ideology, shares a deeply personal account of their journey with their two sons. You’ll want to read the whole thing. But here is a summary:

When their first son expressed a desire to be a girl, the author, influenced by their beliefs, affirmed and socially transitioned him. However, when their younger son, influenced by his older brother, also claimed to be a girl, the parents began to question their decisions.

The author’s exploration into attachment-based developmental parenting and understanding of autism led them to realize that neither of their sons were transgender. Their older son, likely autistic and hypersensitive, had adopted a female identity as a form of psychic protection and attachment.

The family eventually reversed the social transition, and both sons are now thriving as boys. This former “true believer” likens their experience to escaping a cult, expressing concern for the future of sensitive boys in a world that might misguide them.


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